September 19, 2012


Micah is an amazing gift-giver. Like I said, he orchestrated my whole day to be relaxing and fabulous, so that in itself was a gift. And I also got presents! He presented them to me at various points throughout the day for maximum effect.

First, five bottles of carefully selected red wines. It's my drink, and I'm constantly trying to figure out what I like (and, honestly, what the difference between different types even is). Then, I got a box of the most beautifully designed and packaged tea I have ever seen. I'm pretty sure I'm keeping that box forever - and you guys know how I am about keeping things. Also! The tea is delicious. Subtle and ever-so-faintly floral.

(Speaking of keeping things! When the time came for Micah to wrap my thoughtful gifts, I had to sheepishly confess that, in a now regrettable fit of minimalism, I purged most of my desk/office supplies, including the scotch tape. Dude dealt with it like a boss though - he simply wrapped both wrappable gists in kraft paper and baker's twine COMPLETELY WITHOUT TAPE.)

But, I did have a favorite gift. He gave it to me right before we left for dinner and drinks. A necklace I had off-handedly tweeted about forever ago and then forgotten about. From the creator's website:

"Did you know that small mammals, like foxes, raccoons, and lynxes have penis bones that are disproportionately large to their body sizes? Well, they do. Graceful curves abstract the fact that this was cast from part of an animal's intimate anatomy. We've cast a 2 1/4" lynx penis bone and strung it on a 22" matching chain."

YES. A penis bone necklace. It's so perfect for me I still can't believe such a thing exists. And not only does it exist, I now own one (and have been wearing constantly ever since, and using it as a hilarious prop to make the best/worst puns ever). I can't wait for some stranger to innocently ask me about it in line at Kroger or something. Social awkwardness: the gift that keeps on giving. Happy birthday to ME.